Wow it's been a long time since I last blogged sorry!
Life is rolling along in a blanket of sameness. I feel a bit stuck in a melancholic (don't you just think this is one of the most beautiful words in the English language) rut. My function doesn't seem to be improving and although I have reduced some meds, I am still lying down for 4 hours daily and finding each day very sore and tiring. It hasn't helped that I caught the flu and spent a week in bed so I am only just now starting my rehab exercises again. It is a long time since I have been that sick. I am really struggling for motivation and energy and having to force myself to do my exercises. It all just doesn't seem worth it when I know that nothing can ever get rid of this pain.
I did go away on the weekend to Ocean Grove with my bible study group. It was a lovely, relaxing time with lots of reading, resting, wine, cheese, chocolate and fresh air but unfortunately the bed was so bad I came home in worse pain than before I left! Oh well, the change of scenery was still worth it.
Work is going OK. I am managing 3 hours on Mon, Wed and Fri now. I do enjoy the mental stimulation and working with some awesome people but I am still crashing on Tues and Thur which is not such a good sign. I know that this is going to be a long process, but I'm just really really sick of being patient and always having to wait, wait, wait!! I don't feel like this is my life but just some suspended limbo I'm stuck in. I keep waiting to feel better but there's no guarantee that that will ever happen. I still want to make my lif e worthwhile though. The song that is my mantra is called "I Hope you Dance" (Ronan Keating did a version) and I really hope that at the end of my life I can reflect back and see that this was true for me. Google it and listen - it is the most beautiful song.
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Would love to write something positive and encouraging darling Amy, but I can feel your pain coming through this post. What can I say but I think and pray for your constantly and you are a darling. My love, Gaynor xx
ReplyDeleteMy dear Amy, I have just realised it is so long since I posted a comment -- my apologies. What you have been through over the past weeks is quite wrenching to read and so so hard. Although I have been away and silent on this blog, I still think of you every day as your wedding photo with Tim scrolls up on my screensaver at work.
ReplyDeleteWith traumatic upheavals at my work leading to huge staff stress and a reactivation of my neck injury (nothing compared to yours!), I've not been facing it all with the same resolution with which you battle on. So - as always - you are an encouragement, even when you are discouraged.
Be assurred of my thoughts and prayers. Courage babes!! all my love, Cheryl
Just found your blog by chance and was wondering how you were you doing now? Have you recovered well from your surgery? I am several years past back surgery and have continued to struggle with chronic pain. I hope that will not be the case for you. May God bless you on your journey.
ReplyDeleteStacy