It's 1.15am and as usual I am unable to fall asleep. This insomnia is really getting to me so I thought I would use the time constructively and blog :)
I've been holding onto a secret for the past week now. I've been too scared to share it in case it goes away and isn't real. Sounds silly I know but over the past five years I have had many promising steps forward that have turned out to be temporary illusions. Thus I find it hard to truly believe sometimes but I have this spark of hope inside me that this change is here to stay.
I can sing again!!
Many of you may not even have been aware that since my injury singing has been extremely painful. Apart from the fact it's been difficult to stand for any length of time, using my diaphragm to breathe and sing caused me significant back pain. Apart from a couple of weddings that I pushed myself to perform at, I didn't sing. I used to break into spontaneous outbursts of song and make up silly ditties around the house when I was feeling happy. However, pain combined with the lethargy that accompanies it meant the joy and desire to sing ceased to exist for me. Now though it doesn't hurt at all and I remember exactly why I loved performing so much in the first place - the adrenalin rush, being filled with air and energy, worshipping God in song. My creative juices are flowing again and I am pulling out old lesson books and tapes to practise (not too long as my stamina is still not great). I even surprised the gardener the other day with my singing and another time I was so immersed in song that I squealed with fright when Tim walked in the door! Music truly is the most invigorating, uplifting activity and I am now daring to dream of a different future, just a little.
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Oh my poor darling not being able to sleep. Not nice. But a lovely post and FANTASTIC that you are singing. What an absolute thrill for Rog and I to hear this. (I've just read him your post!). Tim did tell us on the phone yesterday it was lovely to hear you singing again. So, keep it up. I'm sure it is not going to disappear. Thanks for the lovely post (even though written early in the morning!). We love you very much. Roger and Gaynor xx
ReplyDeleteCan you guess (remember) where this photo of us was taken?!!
ReplyDeleteYay, This is fantastic news Amy! I cannot imagine not singing so I'm thrilled that your singing voice has returned pain free! Must have a catch up again soon, I'll bring muffins!
ReplyDeleteMWAH - Bella & Lottie xo
love to hear this amy! makes me so happy. looking forward to seeing you again soon.
ReplyDeleteDear Amy, I remember when I heard you sing for the first time (at Glenda and Tom's wedding) and I was absolutely blown away by your beautiful clear voice. Such a precious gift. I am so delighted to hear that this source of joy to you (and others) has returned. Rest assured of my continuing prayers that many more joyous aspects of life will return to you over time. Yet I doubt that most will be sweeter than this one. All my love, Cheryl
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