The past week I have been reminded of the Chinese proverb - "a thousand mile journey starts with a single step." I have come to realise that my surgery was just the start of another journey, perhaps more rehabilitative than pain focused, but still another long challenge.
I am still making progress with my many exercises and increasing my walks which is great. I am also back behind the wheel finally, although it is still quite sore and uncomfortable to do so. However I continue to be plagued by soreness and scar pain as well as extreme fatigue. I have been told that it will likely take me 6 - 12 months to rebuild my stamina after 5 years of minimal movement. I have been feeling quite overwhelmed by this thought. Although I knew the surgery was no quick cure and I am incredibly grateful for the decreased pain so far, I am finding it hard to be so exhausted by simple activities. A 2 hour dinner at my parent's place last week ended in tears and bed for the next day and a half!
Trying to stay focused on the positive improvements but it's been a sobering week.
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So pleased you have posted again Amy and we appreciate the update very much, especially as we are about to take off for a week to Dusseldorf and will be out of contact. We continue to pray that you and Tim will both have much patience during this time of healing. I am sure every little sign of improvement is a real blessing and delight to you Amy. It is great to hear you are driving again as well.
ReplyDeleteWith our love, Gaynor and Roger xo xo
BACK ON THE ROAD.... I am reminded by your experience, Amy, of how rarely we consider the road our life is taking unless something stops us in our tracks. Life's busy little details can become a fog through which we trudge with our head down and our eyes concentrating on the next step of work, finance, family..
ReplyDeleteYou have been dragged, slammed, hijacked to a stop; and now you are staring down at the steps that must start you back on the journey. It is clear at the moment that each single new step is hard and full of challenge.
But where goes the road?
In the forced hiatus times we may ironically be "made still" to "know that I am God". Though we struggle against the life restrictions imposed against our will, these times are often a break from our relentless unconscious clattering along the track we have set for ourselves.
Watershed times in our lives are always a chance for reflection and evaluation. We can choose to take a breath and ocnsider if the journey is taking new directions. Or we can baulk at the uncertainty.
Past patterns, even past bad habits, can seem safe and comforting. Sadly, even pain can be the safe known life (as any DV counsellor will tell you) while healing is uncertain and insecure and full of challenge.
I pray courage and clarity for you at this time, Amy. May your journey's direction become clearer as you progress. And may you know that the Light of the World is walking with you every step.
May you have the strength to let Him shine His light in all the secret corners - for it is the journey INWARD that is hardest and few of us do more than stumble along in His Grace.
All my love, Cheryl