Taking 'baby steps' looks so much more fun for babies than it is for adults. Little, chubby babies look so cute as they wobble, teeter forward, abruptly fall over, struggle up again, all the while chuckling as they give it a go. They make taking one step forward and two steps back seem an exciting adventure! Well I can tell you that 'baby steps' for adults are definitely not as fun!
Since I've written, the days have passed in a blur of movies, books, short walks, rests, sleeps...
I've passed the 4 week mark and still am extremely tired and physically weak all the time. I hate taking showers due to the exhaustion, weakness and soreness that occurs afterwards. I still feel quite vulnerable and emotional all the time, a shadow of my former self.
However I know that when I compare my progress to my last blog, I have definitely taken quite a few 'baby steps'.
I can now go out for short outings like coffee (or watching my 2 year old niece's swimming lesson which was utterly divine and beyond cute:) )
I received my first set of exercises last week so am doing mini step ups and mini squats a few times a day as well as 4 very short walks. Although I am still very slow and not walking far, I definitely feel more comfortable walking than I did before the operation.
I am not taking as many meds for the pain so the implant is obviously starting to work - to what extent yet I'm not fully sure.
I am still quite sore and tender when lying on my back or leaning against something, so I think this is something that is just going to take more time. I guess I hoped I would be feeling dramatically better by now, but although it's slow, at least I am still improving hey! Onwards with the baby steps...
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Thanks for blogging an update Amy. I really do appreciate what you are saying and sometimes can feel your pain. It is a slow process but I am so pleased to read you can feel little signs of 'light at the end of the tunnel'. We continue to pray for you daily and think of you often.
ReplyDeleteMuch love, Gaynor xx oo
Baby steps! You are so right Amy that we don't like the very thought once we are adults. We are used to being competent at so many things, that it is threatening to find ourselves vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteYet baby steps are what we need to learn to cope with again whenever a new challenge takes us out of our comfort zone and out of our competence. When we learn a new skill like learning a new language, becoming technology literate, learning to dance or play a new sport, or facing an illness over which we have no control - we face that sense of teetering and falling flat again.
Sometimes we feel a fool. Or useless, or insecure. But if we never step out into this unknown and unsafe place, where every step is a risk, then we remain stuck in the playpen long after we should be flying down the road on a bike. Disabled by fear, or by being unwilling to risk our 'competent' self-image.
Unlike many of us, you Amy have not had a choice. Your pain has propelled you on this new course. I feel for your struggles. It is hard to feel weakness and exhaustion as well as pain.
But I know that you are very aware that there are no short-cuts on this road you're on. We all wish you well and you are in so many peoples' thoughts in this hard journey.
I so appreciate your honesty in this blog. So many people when ill put on the 'coping face' and 'soldier on'. To some extent we all have to do this or nothing gets done, but in extreme times it can be just a way of denial and of pride.
So keep on with those baby steps and with being realistic and kind to yourself my dear.
You are a trooper! all my love, Cheryl