Fatigued, tired, exhausted, drained, worn out, bushwhacked...the theme of this week!
I must say that this week was harder and easier than I thought it would be. Harder in the sense that when I crashed from fatigue and soreness I struggled to function in any way but yet I didn't crash every day and was even able to do some domestic tasks around our little home.
Monday was about as horrible as it could have been and I spent the greater part of the day in bed after my 2 hours at work. The only redeeming aspect was my sis-in-law Glenda bringing me a small Louis Vuitton handbag back from her holiday in Malaysia. Fake of course but so kitsch it's cool - I absolutely love it!
The rest of the week progressed so slowly with many tears and fears. It's funny how tears so often go along with fears I have discovered. Everyone at work was welcoming and understanding but it felt so surreal. Things had changed but were also still the same. I just feel so different to the person I was six months ago that I'm not sure how to navigate the work landscape, indeed the life landscape any more.
Friday was busy with work and a few appointments so by the end I could feel my body shutting down. Yesterday I was so drained that I barely moved or spoke. Tim knows there's something really wrong when the house is silent! Going to the beach has always been calming for me whenever I'm stressed or worried so since we had the most beautiful autumn day of 27 degrees, Tim took me there late in the afternoon. Just sitting there listening to the waves, lying on the sand and watching the clouds helped give me a sense of peace.
Today I feel better but uncertain of starting another week already. I know that the first week is always the hardest so I am hopeful of an easier ride this time.
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Thanks for the update and lovely chat during the week. You really lifted me and I sure needed it. How wonderful to get to the beach - very special. How I look forward to these days in the future. Prayers for this week, dear Amy. With my love, Gaynor xx
ReplyDeleteKeep on keeping on Amy, it will get better... and the way forward will become clearer. Let me know if there's ANYTHING I can do! Joce xo
ReplyDeleteDear Amy, I feel for you as you struggle with work's demands again. Even though you've just put your toe back in the water, its a big readjustment after so many weeks away from the busyness. Don't let it get you down - its a transition you expected to be hard (just not this hard!!). You are in all our prayers.
ReplyDeleteWhen life is overwhelming, we can feel like fear is swamping us, plunging us under and drowning us in a dark place of despair. Sometimes it is as if we are drifting below, looking up to the faint shifting light of the sun and life through a murky surface that we feel we'll never reach. Our own strength fails us and we feel that recovery is just a mirage.
But its actually fear that is the mirage, a lie. The truth is God's love for us - never failing. Take a deep breath, murmur a prayer, lean on God, and remember he won't let you drown. He has great plans for you yet -- more than you can ever imagine.
You are a beautiful daughter of the King. Who or what should you fear?
love Cheryl